When we first met, it was because he was visiting from Brazil, and Andrea was dating his cousin who he was staying with named Gabriel. Throughout the journal, It talks about the moment we first met, to the very end of our relationship. Every moment of our relationship was sweet and romantic. It's probably the most intense and epically romantic relationship I have had in my entire life and no sex was involved.
On our first date I remember the four of us sitting at a restaurant and I was showing off how much Spanish I knew. Frederico spoke Portuguese but he also was mostly fluent in English. He was surprised by my ability to speak Spanish back then. I've lost most of that, but at he time I was pretty good at Spanish and he could understand most of what I was saying. We had a really good time that night. He was the sweetest guy back then. I have no idea who he is today, I'm sure he has changed quite a bit, but hopefully not too much.
Frederico was only visiting, so throughout the journal, he leaves, occasionally calls or writes letters, and then we find each other together every once in while when he is back to visit. He was a fantastic kisser. He smoked cigarettes which I always found to be a disgusting habit, but he was really good at putting mint gum in his mouth and he never tasted like cigarettes.
There are two moments in our relationship that I will never forget. One time, it was on of the times he was leaving, so it was the last time I was going to see him unless he came back to visit. Gabriel and him were bugging me to jump in the snow and make a snow angel and they said that if I did it, they would do it too. I kept saying No, but then I turned to them as we were about to walk away and said. "Are you sure you would make one if I made one?" and Frederico jumped in the snow and made a snow angel. I remember asking if I needed to make one still, and Gabriel said that I had to because I said I would and Frederico was like, "No, Amanda, you don't have to do this." I decided to do it. "I'm gonna make one" I proclaimed. So I jumped into the snow and made a snow angel next to Fredericos, I have a picture of me standing next to the two snow angels in my journal, so that makes it even easier to remember.
Another moment in time that I don't ever want to forget, is when Frederico said Goodbye to me for the last time. He had come into town and during that time we had gotten together one night, but then it was getting near the end of the time that he was going to be here and it was Gabriel's birthday. I called Frederico and he said he had to go shortly after we got on the phone, he asked me if I wanted to talk to Gabriel and I said sure. I told Gabriel "Happy Birthday and to please tell Fred that as soon as he is available to call me, I don't care how late it is." Gabriel said "Are you sure?" and I replied "Yes." After I got off the phone with him, I cried. I was worried this was my last chance to see him and that I wouldn't be able to.
A few minutes later Frederico called me and asked me if I wanted to go to Mystic Lake Casino for Gabriel's Birthday. I told him that I would and they said they would be there to pick me up in 5 minutes. So, besides having to clean the mascara from under my eyes, I was pretty much ready to go. I had to convince my Dad to let me go, but he did as long as I promised to go to school the next day, which I did. At the casino I watched Fred gamble a little and we talked on the casino stools for a while. As soon as it was time to leave the Casino I started feeling sad. I couldn't believe that it was possibly the end. Fred opened the car door for me as he always did and he held my hand on the way home because he could tell that I was sad. When we got to the house he walked me up to the house and he gave me a romantic and tender kiss, and was about to leave, but before he left I admitted to him why I was sad. I told him I really didn't want him to leave again. And he said, "I don't want to leave either." He grabbed me and kissed me more intensely. He was wild with passion. It was so intense and amazing. He then started to leave, but came back for another kiss, and he did this like 10 times, and I started to giggle, and he then left and blew a kiss as he waved to me. I was so sad. I walked in the door and cried and cried. My Dad was still up and he hugged me.
When I think about this moment, I re-live the joy I felt and the love, and the passion and everything that came with it, including the sadness I felt when he left. I never saw him again after that. He probably moved on. But I'll never forget him or the intense emotions I felt for him. I wonder sometimes if he remembers me. I gave him all sorts of momentos to remember me by. Throughout our relationship, I gave him a few of my stuffed animals with perfume on them, and I think I gave him letters. I don't know what I did with his letters. I mention in my journal that he wrote to me, but I don't know if they were hand written or over email and I definitely don't have access to the same email accounts that I had back then. I wish I had them. I should have kept every letter ever written to me by hand. Oh well, I still have plenty of memories to look back on.
This relationship stands above the rest. I know, I know. I'm married and married to a wonderful man which I would not change for the world, but nothing can compare to the timing, the innocence, the love, and the passion that came along with this romantic story. I was a different person back then. With Chris it is a new kind of love, a new kind of passion, and a new me involved in the relationship.
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