Aliens and Conspiracy Theories: What I Believe

First of all, If you want to know where this journey started for me, get a Gaia TV account and start watching. I started with the show Cosmic Disclosure, but you have to be VERY open minded to watch that show and get through it. You can also check out Beyond Belief. All of the shows are great on there, but those are the two that will start you down the path that I'm on. Keep an open mind and move forward. 

This is scary for me to put out there publicly. Lots of people will think I'm crazy. But, I feel compelled to share. To let people know what I know. 

First of all, Aliens, ETs, Other-Worldly beings, whatever you want to call them, they absolutely exist. To think that we are alone in the universe is silly. There are an infinite number of other planets that are capable of holding life and do. There are an infinite number of all kinds of races. We are human and we are only one of them. That is why it's so silly of us to fight with what we call other races on Earth, because we are just all human. We are all the same race. 

So, I'll start by talking about how I was awakened to this reality. I have always been interested in space and Aliens. I loved watching television shows and movies that had to do with Aliens and space and that has continued throughout my adult life. When I was little, the first thing I ever wanted to be was an astronaut. I wanted to know more about Space, I wanted to know what was out there. I was obsessed with astronomy. I used to know all the constellations and had my own telescope. I was lead to Cosmic Disclosure after my Aunt gave me her login information for GAIA. I decided to start watching it and from episode 1, I was completely hooked. 

Within the first few episodes you find out that Corey Goode, who is a Secret Space Program Whistle blower, started getting contacted by some ETs who he refers to as the Blue Avians, since they appear as humanoid blue birds. In his interactions with them they have either spoken to him telepathically, appeared in his place of residence, or had him travel to them via a blue sphere. 

Are you with me so far? I know, it's hard to swallow. 

Anyways, he said that the Blue Avians offer a message that they wish for Corey to share with humanity. The message is that we all need to raise our consciousness, get off of our knees, and raise our vibration because the planet is going through an ascension process and in order for us to go with it, we need to raise our vibration or we will have to go somewhere else. What does it mean to raise our vibration? It means that we need to be more "service to others". Life is about love, spreading love, being love and loving each other. 

What I like about this message is that I've noticed that we sort of all live our lives and ignore each other. I pass people on the street that are walking their own path, but do I even say Hi to them? Sometimes, but that's about it. So, how do we become more "service to others". This never became clear to me, other than the idea that you first figure out how to raise your own vibration and heal yourself, and in that way you are helping others, then you teach others to do as you did. I think it would become clear to us if we lived life for love instead of anything else. 

Okay, so now that I've shared with you about the blue avian beings and their message, I'll go on to talk about the Greys. So we have all heard of them, we've all seen their pictures or drawings. They are sort of what people think of when they think the word Alien. According to Cosmic Disclosure and other shows like it, it is unclear who the Greys are and what their agenda is. There are a few theories floating around out there. First of all, there are those that believe that Grey Aliens are actually just androids that are used by many different ET races. Instead of coming down to Earth themselves, they send these android beings to collect samples and information. There are also some who believe that the Greys serve another race of Aliens called the Reptilians (I'll get into them a bit later). Lastly, there are people who believe that the Greys are unable to reproduce, so they are using humans to create Alien hybrids so they can further their race. It seems that a mixture of these things could be true, but I'm unsure. I do, however, believe that Grey Aliens exist, they have been coming to Earth for a very long time, and they have been abducting people. I also believe that they have been caught by the military both dead and alive. 

So, now I will cover the Reptilian race. First of all, they are an

inherently negative race and it is believed that they are here right now living among us and underground. According to Corey Goode and other shows on GAIA, these beings are being controlled by a powerful Artificial Intelligence that tries to take over civilizations with technology then proceeds to rule them and then destroy them. He gets this information from the Blue Avians. From the research that I continued to do after watching Cosmic Disclosure, I have not heard any other sources mention the AI being. Regardless of whether or not the AI being exists, the Reptilian race is said to have been here long before us and they feel that the Earth is their planet. 

For many years now they have been controlling us and using us as energy slaves in a way. It's been said that they feed on negative energy. So they purposely make us feel things like fear, sadness, worry, anxiety, and any other negative emotion you can think of. They do this by staging wars, making us fight each other, and also by the use of technology. They use technology and the poisoning of our foods to make us sick so we are less happy and easier to control. They don't want us finding out the truth. The more of us who wake up to realize we are being used in this way, the less they can do to control us. It is also said that these beings can appear to be whatever they want to be. They can change. So you could have someone standing right next to you that is actually a Reptilian being and you wouldn't know it. It's been said that many of the famous actors, actresses, musicians, and people of power are actually reptilians and some have even claimed that they have seen them change. Not all people believe they can shape shift though. some believe that they have holographic technology that allows them to appear human, or they have advanced mind control technology that controls people to the extent that they mind as well be possessed. 

There are people who are considered the Elite's of the world and in exchange for power and money, these people work for the Illuminati, a group of powerful people who aim to control the world along with the Reptilians. This allows them to keep all the money and power for themselves and keeps us poor and compliant. 

Okay, so now you know of 3 potential Alien races if you decide to believe in their existence. The first one was a positive race that aims to assist humanity in spiritual growth, the other two are potentially negative entities and do not have humanity's best interest at heart. 

There are several other races. Most of them are here right now and are here to help in Earth and humanity's ascension into a higher dimension. According to the Blue Avians through Corey Goode, the Earth is shifting into a higher dimension. When this happens we will have series of strong solar flares and then one big one that will make a massive change in the Earth's poles. During this time, all electricity and any other power sources will be wiped out from the Earth. If there is an AI entity that is working to control and destroy us, that will be wiped out at this time. There will be loss of life during this time period, but many benevolent ETs are here to help us through this process. It will be a difficult time, a re-birth, and we will have much to re-build and to learn. 

It's been said by many people that during this time, many people are awakening to the truth. I am one of these people and I have been having these intense dreams. Some consider these dreams to be downloads from benevolent ETs to assist us with ascension. One in particular I had was crazy intense. I will share the dreams I've had below. 

Triangle Dream

I was in this dark room and was surrounded by what looked like glass panels. Each panel had tons of different types of triangles and pyramids on it some were glowing gold and some were glowing blue. Some where pointing in different directions and they were all shapes and sizes. I remember waking up and thinking. "Whoa, that was intense." Because during the dream, I was very involved and my brain felt very full when I woke up and very tired like I was very focused and busy all night. I know I was learning something, but I'm not entirely sure what. 

Mantis Being Dream

There are these beings that are basically humanoid praying mantis's and I was visited by them in my dream recently. They were communicating all sorts of things and being a person who is afraid of bugs, I was surprisingly not frightened by them. They are very positive beings and put my mind at ease. I kept telling myself to remember something from the dream and it was to tell my husband Chris that he had been one of these beings in a past life. 

I've had several other download dreams, but I'm having trouble remembering them now. 

As people awaken to the truth, they are also starting to learn how to access their internal power. We are all divine inter-dimensional beings confined in a body and having a physical experience. I was told that I'm a healer and at first I couldn't believe it because I've never been into science or medicine, but then it became clear to me that my healing is more focused on herbs and energy. I started practicing energy healing and sending positive and healing energy to others and also healing myself. It's been quite a remarkable journey so far, and I've learned so much about who I am and what I am capable of and how to control my empathic abilities. It's not easy sometimes and it's something I consistently have to work on, but it will get easier. 

The other thing that is going on globally right now is that all our past emotional traumas are coming to the surface to be dealt with. We are learning to deal with those traumas and let them go, transmuting them into love and light. 

It is also believed that there are ET beings that chose to reincarnate here on Earth to assist in the ascension process and help to raise the vibration of the Earth, but as soon as they reincarnated they forgot their reason for being here, now many of them are waking up and remembering that they have a mission that they need to complete. I very much believe that I am one of these beings. According to Dolores Cannon, There is a wave of beings that came through around my age and they are here to just be. Their energy is so strong that just being here and walking amongst other people will change them subconsciously for the better.  I have a lot of love I want to share with the world, but  I'm worried I might not be here much longer. 

Some believe that the Elite or the Illuminati have weapons that can turn on disease in people. As I was starting to realize my power and starting to feel really good, I got Leukemia. I'm not trying to blame anyone. I could have caused it myself, or the Elite's could have turned it on to help control me, but either way it's been a struggle to stay in the light during this process. I started to get stronger in my practice and then I relapsed, and now am going in for a bone marrow transplant. Again, I have no idea if they are controlling this disease or if it's me. I just know that I need to work on healing whatever is allowing this disease to continue to re-occur, because I feel that I am meant to be here to assist in humanity's ascension. 

Healing Technologies

I very strongly believe that there are healing technologies out there that can heal any disease, including cancer and these aren't being shared with the world because there are 3 major corporations that run the world, one is Big Pharma, this company controls all the drugs, and because this company runs the world, they won't allow anything to be passed through the FDA that will actually cure anyone because then they couldn't push their medications on us. You see, they want to keep us sick, not only are we easier to control that way, but they get to keep all the money in their pockets. 

According to Emery Smith, another whistle blower who shows up on Cosmic Disclosure and other shows, said that there is free energy power out there and he helped invent it and wants to get it to the public, there is also a device that you can put on someone's chest and it can hone in on bad cells and destroy them and it doesn't require hurting the patient or putting them through treatments like chemo therapy. He is also trying to get these technologies out into the world, but this would be bad news for the multi-billion dollar cancer industry so he is having issues getting the treatments through the FDA. This is due to the 3 main corporations that run the world, including big pharma who also make tons of money off of cancer patients. 

So, if you've made it this far, you most likely think I'm crazy, you most likely don't believe a word I am saying, which is fine, but I just had to share it, in hopes that it might open your mind and just maybe, just maybe, start to facilitate change in the world. Change for the good. 

Do you want to know what the meaning of life is? It's to love. It's to spread love far and wide through loving yourself, meditating, loving others, taking care of each other. It's all about love! You know what else. We are a collective consciousness. All of humanity is one, so if we no longer want disease, hunger, poverty, war, hate, then we don't have to allow it the world. The more people that become awakened to our power, the better chance we have of changing this world for the better. We have the power, we just have to use it. 

What can you do? 

Meditate, every day. Quiet your mind. This is so important. Learn to just be. This will help to reduce stress, calm your body and mind, and wake you up to your true self. If you have to, start with guided meditations. There are many free ones on You tube. If you can just sit quietly for 10 minutes a day and push thoughts from your mind. 

Make someone's day. Give someone a compliment. Pay for their groceries. Buy them a coffee. Do something good for someone else. 

Spread the love energy. Close your eyes and imagine that your entire body is glowing with shimmering white light as you do this, start to send this light out into the world. You can imagine your light filling a loved one and sending them healing and love, or you can send it to a friend or even a stranger that you felt needed it. You can also imagine the entire earth encompassed in this light. Imagination is SUPER powerful. I never knew until I woke up. 

Imagine a perfect earth. Imagine what life would be on a perfect earth. Where no one is hungry or diseased. No on is suffering, there is no war, no hate, only love. What does that Earth look like? Focus on that image a little bit every day. Put this into the collective consciousness. The more people we have doing this, the more likely we can change the world. 

New World Magischola

The Best LARP Experience Ever!

I just had the most amazing experience of my life. For Christmas this year my husband bought me a trip to Richmond, Virginia to take part in a Harry Potter type LARP, however, they weren't able to use anything Harry Potter, due to copyright laws, so they created their own magical universe. The whole thing took place at Richmond University, which is a castle like college on a beautiful campus that really worked quite well as a Harry Potteresque type setting. They had paths through the woods that were used as the forbidden forest among other things. 

At the start of the LARP and before it, I was very nervous. My husband is very outgoing and I am an introvert, so I was very concerned that I would end up on my own and Chris would end up being busy all the time and I would have an awful time, but everything turned out to be better than I could have ever imagined. Day one, we arrived at the campus and got checked in. I was clinging to my husband for dear life as there were tons of people there and my shyness had set in. We somehow ended up being the first ones in line to get in for check in which was nice. We got all checked in and got our Magischola badges and our information packets and then headed off to bring our luggage to our dorm. We found our dorm, which was right next to a nicely decorated common room that had lights, fake candles and lots of random knick knacks to help us feel fully immersed. Once our bags were safely tucked away, we decided to go get some lunch at a restaurant nearby called Toast. The food there was amazing and our waitress was even more amazing. She had multi-colored hair and looked a bit wizardesque. I saw a hornet behind my husband hanging out on the window behind him, so I asked her if there was any way we could get rid of it, and she just grabbed a cup and a menu, captured it, and brought the thing outside. I wanted to give her all the cash we had as a tip, because not only was she already a great waitress, but she got rid of the thing I feared. I don't know of many waiters/waitresses that would do that. I was very thankful. After leaving the restaurant, nicely buzzed by pear cider, we headed back to the campus. 

Our first meeting was in a chapel where we finally got to meet the organizers Ben and Maury. They spoke to us about a few general rules and welcomed us and such, after that we were split up into groups, the students were split up by their houses and my husband and I joined the faculty group as we were both playing professors. 

We all filed into an empty furnitureless room because the first year students had stolen the faculty lounge, already starting the year off on a bad foot stealing our lounge. We proceeded to do some workshops to create our characters a bit more and so that we would have answers to some of the in game concepts and questions. I remember feeling a bit awkward during this part because they expected us to know everything from our character profile, and even though I had read it and was very prepared to teach my classes, I was not remembering the details. 

Then, to my surprise, Maury told me to just make it up. And it was a magnificent realization that as long as I could come up with something to say for things, I could handle this kind of game. Once thing I found out in the workshops was that this was far different than any LARP I had played in before. This LARP was about creating a safe, all inclusive place for all players. One of the highlights from the workshops was when we were asked to create 2 positive relationships and 1 negative relationship. So I teamed up with the herbology Professor since I felt that her and I would have the most in common in character since I was teaching elemental magic so we are both very earthy. We spent that entire time chatting, then the guy who was playing the school's Chancellor came over to us and was creating plot with us, he said that 6 years ago something very bad happened at the school that caused them to have to replace several professors and because of that both my character and the herbology professor would have been banned from going into the forbidden forest. He kept asking us, "Why would I be stopping the two of you and no one else from going into the forbidden forest?" So that became a plot point for us to use in game if we wanted. At the end of the workshop, they had us get into character and talk about what our characters wanted from the school year, how they would treat the students, and what our relationship is with the Chancellor. 

My Character's name was Professor Aura Brayboy, the Elemental magic Professor and when it was my turn I said that my character just loves everyone and just wants everyone to be happy and taken care of, and that because of the fact that the Chancellor had banned me from going into the forbidden forest and wouldn't tell me why, I felt that there was probably some angst between us, but I'm still very civil. 

After the workshops, we were told to go and get into "costume" which for me was just what I was wearing. I decided my character would wear sun dresses because of how hot it was supposed to be all weekend. So really, all I did to get into character was touched up my make up and added a wand to my bag. 

The first time we showed up in character we showed up at the college cafeteria where we had a separate room off to the side. We walked in and noticed there were tables up on a stage that were kind of put together so we figured that was the faculty table, which it was. We all got together at the faculty table and ate our food and shortly after that, the chancellor made his announcements and welcomed us to New World Magischola. After dinner, everyone headed to where the house common rooms were and in the same vicinity was a faculty lounge so we went there and started drinking some wine and all the other houses were drinking as well. My husband who was playing Professor Fitzroy, one of the combat and defense professors, decided to go to the house parties and introduce himself to see if he could recruit people for the Cross Wands Dueling Club. His counterpart and fellow Combant and Defense teacher decided to follow. I decided to sit, because I was in pain. I had gotten blisters the day before and it was very painful to walk and stand. So, I stayed put until it was time for my character to go to the "Secret Club" she was the mentor for. It turned out that one of he other professors who was teaching Cryptozology was asked to come and teach the members about how to take down a creature called a Jewa Setan which is basically the same as a dementor from the Harry Potter world. So her and I traveled to the club together.

Sign of the Arrow (Secret Club)

So, this experience got a little bit intense. It was far more intense than I was expecting, and out of character, I almost bowed out. So the leader of the club decided that in order for anyone to gain entrance into the Sign of the Arrow they had to touch a cursed object and tell us what was going through their head as they touched it. This turned into several people re-living their very worst experiences in character over and over again, and some students became possessed by evil beings and such, one or two students passed out, and a few students left and told us we were messed up. There were two fun things that happened there though. The first one was that I was introduced to two amazing actors/role players. One played the character of Isaac Reece and he picked up a cursed object that apparently possessed him with some sort of tentacle creature. He started talking in a weird accent and claiming that he was still human, but everything he said was weird and off and unlike him. After he let go of the object he continued to pretend that the being hadn't left him. (And he even continued to play as if it was still inside of him for the majority of the run, it was amazing!) There was another amazing actor/roleplayer that took a turn with a cursed object, his character name was Beowolf. He did a very good job convincing us that he had gotten possessed temporarily, but the being left his body after he touched the object. I was very impressed. Not so say that everyone one else who went was being a bad actor/roleplayer, it's just that it got so dark, and during all the dark ones where people were re-living bad experiences was when I almost needed to emotionally bow out of the scene, however I stuck it out till the end. 

After it was over, I needed to leave the area. After the cryptozoologyst professor had done her lesson on Jewa Setan, I headed out. I was very confused as to how the campus was set up, so I got a little anxious since I didn't know where anyone was. I wasn't sure where my husband was, and I wasn't sure where anyone else was, so I just started to guess which way to go. Luckily, I ran right into my husband's counterpart for magical combat and defense. His in character name was Professor Styles. It was perfect timing too because he was just leaving to head off to the forbidden forest to check on the Chancellor who had supposedly just been bit by some sort of creature. So I told him I'd come with. We found the Chancellor who was luckily sitting alone and we asked him how his arm was, and he said it was fine and that the creature had been caught, and he s showed us a jar with a creature in it. After that, I told the Chancellor about the Sign of the Arrow and how dark it had become and how I didn't feel that I was the best person to be the mentor for the club and that I kind of thought it should maybe be shut down. He felt that I was the perfect person to mentor the club, because as dark as it may get, my sunny and positive demeanor would be a good fit for the club. I never fully agreed with him, but didn't deny it either. After that I brought up the forbidden forest and wanted to know why I was not allowed to enter it, after I had convinced the Chancellor to tell me the story of what happened 6 years ago, and entire group of students emerged from the forbidden forest with the school poltergeist Johnny, he had been fed on by a shadow creature and was weak and they didn't know how to fix it. So myself and Styles bowed out and headed to the common rooms/faculty lounge hoping that we would run into my husband's Character, Fitzroy. We did not, so we ended up just chatting in the faculty lounge out of character for a while. It was fun getting to know him a little bit out of character. Then we decided to head back to the dorms and we went to bed. I was a bit worried as to where my husband was, but I was told by a friend to not worry about him and only worry about myself and what I needed at the time and that really helped. I was able to sleep and not worry about what he was doing. It was actually a crystallizing moment for me and it changed me a bit. So, I slept, I woke up when he came in, but I was able to get right back to sleep which hasn't happened when he and I have been out somewhere together for a long time. 

Day 2 (First Day of Classes)

I woke up in the morning sick to my stomach. I was so nervous about my first class, especially since this was the day I planned on really playing up my character's weird side. The plan for the first day of classes was to commune with nature and tree spirits and feel the energy of the trees and the earth. I had originally planned a nature dance for each class, but I only had the guts to do it for the first class and then pretty much skipped it for the last two classes I had for the day. My first class was great! I felt so at home. I wasn't able to play up some of the character concept I had planned which was a spacey, mostly high all the time hippy, but it was easy to be a professor who loved nature and loved her students and loved to teach elemental magic. I fell into it naturally. My first years were so accepting and not one of them made fun of my teachings or anything. They all listened intently and did what I asked. So, we started the class with attendance, then I introduced myself. depending on timing, I would occasionally ask the students to say their names and something interesting about themselves. Then we sat on the ground and felt the energy of the earth while closing our eyes. When we stopped, I asked each student to tell me what they felt if anything. I was so incredibly amazed at their answers. They were all so creative! Then I explained to them how trees can take on our negative energy and hold it for us until we are ready to take it back and are able to deal with it. Trees can hold a lot of negative energy without it affecting us. So I asked each class if there was anyone who felt they needed to be rid of some negative energy. My first years were too afraid to step forward so I volunteered to show them how to do it. I had one class that had a volunteer and he said he felt better after he had given the tree his negative energy. In that same class there was so much talk back and forth about what trees can do and lots of debate, it was awesome! Then in each class we attempted to summon a tree spirit. We were unsuccessful, so I offered for anyone who was interested to join me that evening at 11pm to summon one. Then I had a student who wanted to summon a stone clad to protect us from the shadow creatures that had been attacking the students the night before. So I met up with her after my last class and we summoned a stone clad (A stone creature that is made from a wizard to protect the earth). This was perfect because my character description had mentioned something about how she was transitioning into a stone clad. So I used this to my advantage and decided that while summoning a stone clad, I would start to become one myself. Before I met with the student, I ran to makeup, and had the makeup artist make part of my shoulder look like it was turning to stone and then I put my sports coat over it, so that I could take it off during the transition. It was awesome. We summoned the stone clad (a person showed up wearing a robotic type costume to play the stone clad), They were playing up the the stone clad was mad that we summoned them. It kept saying we needed to make a sacrifice and I stood up and said "I've already started making that sacrifice, see" and showed him my shoulder. He responded and called me by name. "Aura Brayboy, I see that your transition has started, but yet I still cannot help you, I can't stay here, you should know that better than anyone." So then the student sent the Stone Clad back to where he came from. by saying something like "I send you back to from whence you came" very loudly while pounding her wand into the summoning circle. Afterwards I spoke with the student and told her the reason why I was turning into a stone clad was because I was dying and my organs were failing and this was my only hope. She said that she would help me find a way to heal my disease and stop the transition into becoming a Stone clad. I told her, I would appreciate it, but I had seen many healers and had yet to find a cure. 

That evening, after dinner, we headed to the teacher's lounge, (only place we could drink alcohol besides the dorms), We hung out there for a while, and I rested my aching feet that were covered in painful blisters. At 10:45, my and one of the other professors headed over to a gazebo which is where we were supposed to be summoning a wood nymph, unfortunately, there was tons of other plot happening that night so all the students were busy, but the wood nymph showed up anyways and two students showed up to enjoy her as well. She was magical. There was a group of students who intercepted us as well and they got to interact with her as well, so all in all it all worked out. Then the professor I was with was kind enough to walk me back to the dorms before heading off to the classrooms to double check that he had what he needed for his classes in the morning. Not knowing where my husband was, I headed to bed, exhausted from a long day of role playing and far too much heat and sun. 

Hidden Identities Chapters One and Two

Hidden Identities

Vanished

By Amanda Germaine

Chapter One

Katelyn had never been late for her job at R. J. Collections Agency, but this morning she had overslept. The night before she was up late working on a special case for the Jacobsons. She was meticulously studying all of the possible options to settle their debt. They were struggling, and she just had to find a way to fix it. It was one of the reasons she was okay with staying at this crummy job. Suddenly she had it! If the they pay $50 a month towards their debt for the next 12 months, that will buy them time to save up enough money to pay off half of the amount. Then we can forgive the rest! Katelyn was super happy that she had found the solution, but exhaustion finally started to take over. She set her work laptop aside and laid down in bed. She shut her eyes tight, but no matter what she did, sleep did not come to her. Pieces of the Jacobson case continued to flicker in and out of her mind. 

“Ugh!” she shouted to no one as she threw back the comforter. 

She grabbed her yoga mat from the corner and placed it next to her bed.  The case began to slip from her mind as she did one restful pose after another. 

Breathe out, hold downward dog for three breaths, concentrate on my breathing, she thought.  By 1 o’clock her mind was clear and sleep was no longer an obstacle. She laid back in bed, not even bothering to put her mat away, and drifted off to sleep.

“Oh my god!!” Katelyn sat straight up in bed gasping for air. “Oh buckets! I overslept.” “No shower today.” She threw open her closet and grabbed one of her standard work outfits.  It’s a good thing I don’t own zebra pants because in my rush, I’d throw those bad boys on without even realizing it’ she thought.  She ran out of her bedroom, grabbed her keys from the kitchen counter, opened the door to the garage and hit the garage door opener. 

She was sitting at the light on Wabasha and 6th. The lights seemed to take forever to change, but as soon as the lights turned from red to green she stomped her foot on the gas and maneuvered around three cars.  Katelyn thought of her mom.  “You’re a little bit of a lead foot.” her mom would say from the passenger seat.  She smiled at the memory, as she maneuvered her car down Wabasha to the R.J. Collections building.

Her mother had passed away three years prior. Sometimes memories could bring her to tears, but she tried to focus on the positive memories and the positive times they had spent together. Katelyn and her mom had been very close. She was her best friend. Her wheels squealed as she pulled into the parking lot. As she pushed the button on her key fob to lock the door, she thought about how her mother had always encouraged her to do what made her happy. Katelyn remembered how disappointed her mom was when she took this job at RJ Collections.

“Mom, it pays better than any other job I’ve had, plus there’s room for advancement.”  she had told her mom.

“But Kate, you said that about being a bartender, a waitress, a bank teller...

“Okay, okay mom I get it!  But I don’t want to go to college yet. I’m clueless about what I would major in...” Katelyn argued. 

“Alright, alright, calm down.  I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do.  I’m just worried you will end up in a dead end job. I just want you to be happy.”

The next day, her mom had a doctor’s appointment.  That evening she told Kate she had been diagnosed with stage four breast cancer.  In six months her mom was gone. 

Katelyn got off the elevator on the seventh floor just in time to punch the time clock at 8:02. 

Whew! she thought, only two minutes late.

“Nice job there on the Jacobson case Briggs!” Katelyn whirled around to see none other than the Large-and-in-Charge Mr. R.J. himself. 

Katelyn hated that her face flushed right away. 

“Uh, Thanks!” she replied, flustered at the unexpected run in with the big boss.

“You are batting a thousand on all your cases!  Keep up the good work!” boomed R.J. as he lumbered down the hall towards his office. 

“You are batting a thousand on all your cases,” came a mocking voice from the next cubicle over. Carlos and David snickered at Mallory’s snide comment. Kate rolled her eyes and walked right by them not giving them the satisfaction or even a look in their direction.

She walked into her cubicle to see her cube mate Millie already at work. 

“Hey Mills,” Kate said as she took off her jacket.  “Did you hear Mallory?”

“Ya, she’s a jerk, just ignore her.” 

“Ya, I do. At least I try.  Hey, did you look into that night class I was telling you about?  You know, the HTML course?”

“I did!  I start on Tuesday night,” Millie said as she wrinkled her nose to push up her glasses.  Millie’s eyes always seemed ‘bug like’ behind her thick lenses. 

“Good! I think you'll be good at it!”

“I never would have done it, if you hadn't pushed me”

“Yeah, but you’re the one that took the steps, and that's what matters” Kate said as she sat down and adjusted her chair.

While she sat waiting for her computer to load, Kate got angry at the fact that Mallory, Carlos and David were so mean. She did her best to ignore them, but it didn't mean it had no effect on her. Shortly after her computer loaded, she saw an instant message pop up from her boss, asking for her to come into her office for a second. Katelyn’s muscles tensed. Her boss rarely asked her into her office. What could this be about? Better get it over with. She thought to herself as she quickly walked over to Jen’s office.

“Katelyn, I need to talk to you.  H.R. has told me that there have been some complaints about you.” Jen’s face wrinkled in concern.

“What kind of complaints?

“Well, there have been some rumors being spread around that Carlos and David are a gay couple. I know it sounds silly, but this has been very hurtful to the two of them. I received an anonymous letter that stated that they thought that you were behind these rumors.”

“But….”

Jen put her hand up to stop her.

“Before you tell me your side of the story, I also want to make you aware that I have also received a few complaints about how you deal with your payers. I’m told that you have been losing your cool and yelling at them. You do realize that yelling has never helped our case, right?”

“Jen, you have to know, these simply just aren’t true. I would never spread rumors about David and Carlos. And, you KNOW I’ve never yelled at a customer. Not even once.”

“I know, Katelyn, however, I have to take these claims seriously. You have the best numbers in the office and you are my best agent. I need you to stay on. I also got an email from R.J.. He is very impressed by your numbers as well. We are on your side, but as you know, things can get sticky with HR complaints and issues, and I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to protect you.” Jen said, concerned that she might lose her best employee.

“Understood. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.”

“Sure thing!  It’s great to have you back in. We missed you on Friday. I’m glad you are feeling better.” Jen said, smiling.

“Thanks” Kate said as she stood up and walked out of the office, a big tornado of anxiety twisting around in her stomach. Well, I suppose I will have to start bringing in some bagels and doughnuts to try and win the favor of these jerks. Kate thought to herself as she wandered back to her desk. I can’t have them turning in anymore false complaints. The anger and anxiety started to crash together in her brain, making her feel ill.

“Are you okay? You look like you’re going to yak!” Millie said, sounding concerned.

“Yeah, keeping my food down so far.”

“What happened?”

“I’ll tell you later. These cubicle walls have ears you know.” She said, mustering a smile.

She was sick of not being liked here. Maybe she needed to get to know Mallory, maybe there was a reason she was always so mean to her. She decided to make a point of trying to get to know her. She knew if she had Mallory on her side, that Carlos and David would follow suit.

She occasionally tried to explain to her co-workers that there were those that she couldn’t convince to start a payment plan and she had actually gotten hate mail from them and even a couple of threats. Her words didn’t seem to change the minds of those she shared space with and the rest, she could care less about. She didn’t quite understand it. Yes, she was good at her job, but she was a nice person and even though her fellow collections agents were mean to her, she was never once mean to them, not even for a second. Someday she’d reach her full-potential.

“Kate?” Mille said.

“Hmm?”

“Are you still thinking about those assholes?”

“Heh, why do you say that?”

“Because I can hear you grumbling beneath your breath.”

Katelyn Laughed. “oh….. yeah, maybe a little.”

“Well, stop. They don’t deserve one more second of your brain power.”

Chapter Two

She had a hard time focusing on work tasks. As she thought of the grumbly morning, she felt herself getting frustrated all over again. I really need to settle myself down or I’ll never be able to focus on my work. She decided to think on something else for a minute, and her mind settled easily on Donovan. She smiled at the thought of his name “Donovan,” she whispered it with a smile and a quiet sigh. She thought back to Thursday night the week before. To be honest, she couldn’t stop thinking about it.

She had gotten off of work late that gloomy day.  It was about 11pm by the time she left, which was late for her, she normally left work by no later than 5pm, but the boss asked her to stay late so she obliged.  She was exhausted and wasn’t really paying attention to her surroundings. She mindlessly wandered around the few cars that were left in the dark parking lot. Only two street lights shown on the street down the road, causing an eerie glow to shine onto the paved concrete. Exhausted from her long day, she walked slowly out to her little blue Honda, adoring the look of her car as it shined in the moonlight. She could feel the coolness of the Minnesota fall bite her bare skin and she wished she hadn’t forgotten her coat in the car that morning.  She hated when the Minnesota seasons changed. You never knew what to wear or how to prepare. It was either warm and sunny, or rainy and freezing. Her feet ached from running around the office that morning in high heels. She was forced to park near the end of the lot since she had been running late. “Man, what a day, I can’t wait to get home to my comfy couch and a cup of hot tea.” Katelyn said aloud to herself as she arrived at her car and started to fumble in her purse to find her keys. Suddenly, a masked man, dressed in black, came out from behind a black van with a gun. 

“Give me your purse!” he said with a gruff voice, pointing the gun at her. 

Shaking Katelyn handed over her purse, automatically pulling her sleeve down to hide the charm bracelet her mother had given her right before she died. It wasn’t expensive, but could be a target to a robber, and it was the one item she couldn’t stand to lose. The man started fumbling through the purse seeming to look for something specific. He looked up at her and shouted;

“Take of your necklace!”

Oh no! Kate thought to herself, I forgot about the necklace. It was a ruby red heart that her mother had given her for her birthday one year, it was a symbol of her love for her and of hope that Katlyn would eventually find love.  Kate lifted her hands behind her neck to undo the clasp, but she hesitated, not wanting to let go of this connection to her mother. 

“GIVE ME THE NECKLACE NOW OR I’LL SHOOT, I SWEAR.”

This startled Katelyn, she jumped and noticed the man’s hands shaking. She fumbled with the clasp, her hands shaking as well, and once the necklace was unclasped, her necklace fell to the ground.  The man moved forward, keeping the gun pointed at her and he grabbed her necklace, still holding her purse in hand.  As he continued to search for valuables in her purse, gun still pointed at Kate, she looked down at the ground, and tried not to move, worried that she would startle this nervous man. Suddenly, she heard something drop to the ground. She looked up and saw that the man’s hands were empty – replaced with frantic movements. He was being held by someone and struggling under the hold. She couldn’t see very well in the dark of the parking lot, but she could see that whoever was holding him must have moved in quickly and nearly silently – she had only heard the gun drop to know someone else had arrived. As the thug tried to get free of the hold, she heard a man’s voice say,

  “Are you okay, Miss?”

“Uh, yes, I’m fine I think” Katelyn replied with a shaky voice. She struggled to make sense of the situation.

“Can you call 911?” The man said kicking her purse over to her as the robber continued to struggle, though he was obviously caught. “Yes, of course.” Katelyn said, her voice shaking. She bent down to dig out her phone as quickly as she could. She pulled out the phone and dropped it before she could get the 3 numbers dialed. “I….I’m sorry” She said as she bent over to pick it up.

“That’s okay, miss. I need you to listen to me, you are safe now.  I just need you to focus on calling the police.”  His voice was strong, calming and gave Katelyn a feeling of relief. She took in a deep breath.

“Okay.” She picked up the phone and dialed the numbers carefully and pressed send. She sunk to the ground and sat there cross-legged as she told dispatch that a man tried to mug her and he is currently being held. She gave them the address and hung up even though the woman on the other end had urged her to stay on the line, very adamantly. 

Katelyn just stared at the ground in a daze the exhaustion from the whole day setting in. Suddenly, the robber fell to the ground unconscious. Katelyn just stared at the man on the ground. She still felt like she was in shock. Nothing seemed to make any sense to her at the moment.

“Is he…… dead?” She asked, her voice shaking slightly.

“No, he’s just out, he’ll wake up sometime tomorrow with a headache. However, it’s probably not a great idea to hang around here and wait for the cops. They sometimes take a while in this area. What are you doing out so late anyways?”

“Well, I work here and my Boss, Jen, asked me to stay late, and I did, for her, and I’m so tired and it has been a long night and….” Kate continued to mumble in what she thought were full sentences as she handed the man her car keys, and her manager’s business card, and her necklace.

He looked at the random items he’d just been handed and then to the the mess of a girl in front of him.

“I think you need to sit down somewhere.” He said, concerned.

“I need to be at home, on my couch” She said as she fumbled with her purse and tried to stand up. Her legs wobbled under her as she tried to open her car door with her cell phone.

“Well, from the looks of it, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to drive right now. Do…. you want me to grab you a cab? Or do you…. maybe want me to give you…. a ride?”

“Um…..yeah, that probably makes sense”

He came closer to her and Katelyn looked up and noticed that he was dressed in a white pinstriped shirt, dark jeans and black dress shoes. He had dirty blonde scruffy hair and a handsome face. His sexy dark colored glasses accented his big dark brown eyes. She looked up at him wide eyed, unable to look away.

“Um…...I think you might be in shock, I’m going to take you home and make sure that you are taken care of, okay?”

“Uh huh” Katelyn said in a dazed voice.

He walked her over to his black jeep which was really close to the edge of the parking lot. She didn’t even know what was going on at the time.  Anyone could have taken advantage of her in that state, but she felt like she could trust him - I mean he did just save her from a robber. He opened the passenger seat door for her and helped her in the car. She didn’t say much on the drive to her house except reciting her address for him to put into the GPS.

Once they got there, he helped her wobble over to her couch. She collapsed onto her red love seat, feeling the soft cushion covers her Mom had made her as she lay with her head on the arm of the couch. She always felt as if her mother was holding her when she laid on this couch. It made her feel safe. She sleepily watched the strange man in front of her that she barely knew search through her cupboards and her fridge. Without even asking her, Katelyn watched him grab her tea kettle from the stove and filled it with water. He made her a cup of chamomile tea and after it was in her hands and she was sipping on it, he maneuvered his way around the kitchen to find everything needed for a turkey sandwich. Still not asking Katelyn for any help or to even ask her what she might want, he made a turkey sandwich on wheat bread with lettuce, swiss cheese, and mayo.

He sat next to her with the sandwich on a plate and handed it to her. She grabbed it and smiled at him. “How did you know what to put on the sandwich?” she asked quietly, eyes half shut. “There wasn’t anything else in the fridge. You need to eat” He said softly and quietly. He helped her  to take a bite by putting the sandwich to her mouth. One bite of the sandwich and Katelyn’s mouth started to water. She realized how hungry she was and she quickly consumed the remainder.

After finishing the sandwich, she picked up the cup of tea that was still steaming hot, and she smiled at him and said sleepily;

“You’re nice.”

“No, actually, I’m Donovan.” He said with a goofy but oh so sexy grin.

“Katelyn” She said with a yawn.

She sipped her tea once more and almost spilled it all over herself before she leaned back and exhaustion overtook her.  Donovan caught the tea before she could spill it and placed it quietly on the glass coffee table in front of the couch, and beyond that there was nothing but silent sleep. 

What do you think so far? Want to keep reading? Check out the link below and reserve your copy of the book! 
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1304829922/hidden-identities-by-amanda-germaine

Finally Publishing a Book!!!

Kickstarter: Hidden Identities

I put together and launched a Kickstarter to help fund the publishing of my first book! Kickstarter is a crowdfunding website that helps people fund special projects. How does it work? Well, first of all you need people to back your project. If you click the link below, you will see a description of my publishing project as well as different pledges you can make that coincide with different rewards. The project goal is $2,000.00. That's what I need to publish through Outskirts Press with only the most basic package and basic marketing options. 

If the minimum goal gets backed by friends, family, and the book's supporters, then no more waiting, the book is getting published. After the minimum goal is hit, people can still continue to back the book. This is what Kickstarter calls "Stretch Goals". You label stretch goals for the backers offering more rewards for stretch goals reached. 

Any extra money made through this Kickstarter will go towards marketing, upgrades on publishing options, and making the book launch party more awesome! 

If you want to know more about my new book, then check out my Kickstarter page, please click the link below and check it out. If you can't or don't want to help me out with this project. That's perfectly okay, but I'd love it if you'd at least share the link on social media or with friends or family who might be interested in the genre to help spread the word. 

Thanks for supporting me and my first book!

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1304829922/hidden-identities-by-amanda-germaine

Behind the Closed Door

Behind the Closed Door Writing Exercise

Little did I know that when I Stepped through the big wooden door in the banquet hall that I would be in a brand new world. Everything seemed different, but also so the same, Everything seemed a bit brighter here. 

The colors were brighter as if the sun had made them more beautiful. There didn’t seem to be any houses, but there was a bright sparkling path that looked like newly laid cement on a sunny day, and along the path were miles and miles of rolling hills covered in over sized brightly colored flowers. 

As I wondered at this beautiful world and smiled at its beauty and brightness, I suddenly heard the door shut behind me and then disappear leaving a vision of sky and grasses behind it. The weird thing is, I did not panic, I actually felt nothing but happiness and contentedness within this world, and didn’t have any need or want to leave.  

I left behind a world of darkness and broken buildings and death all around. There was nothing left behind me and all this beauty in front of me.  Instead of thinking of what I left behind, I started walking forward and exploring this wonderfully interesting and bright place and was excited to find my next adventure. 

How to Get a Better Job

Step One: Pinpoint what it is about your job that you don't like. 

"There is a light at the end of the tunnel."

We all apply and interview for jobs that match our skill set and background. Sometimes we may even take a step further and research what the job is all about by doing an informative interview with the hiring manager or reading the job description online. Once we think we understand what are position will be, we take the job happily thinking that it matches everything that we want and that it will be a perfect fit. This is not always the case. Even if you feel you understand the job completely, hiring managers will often leave out some of the negatives about the job in order to get someone hired. As a hiring manager myself, I try to be honest with those that I employ because I'd rather they stuck around and didn't just quit because I wasn't honest with them. However, I have also experienced management that have left parts of the job out of the explanation, in order to get me hired. 

Now the unfair part of this situation for the employee is that you won't find out about these negatives until after you have quit your other job and have started working there. You may not even find out about these negatives until after a few months of being on the job. So, what do you do then?? You are feeling like you are feeling stuck with the job that was handed to you on a not so silver platter. Well, you are not stuck. It will just take some extra effort to find something better. 

First, take a piece of paper and a pen and create a pros and cons list. What do you love about this job, and what do you hate? 

Step Two: Take your list and start searching for a job that has more of the qualities that you like and/or need and less of the qualities that you don't like or don't need. 

Now it is time to start your search. You can do this in a number of ways. 

* If you want out of your job right away, I would suggest signing on with a temp agency that will help you find a job that is a good fit for you. Research the companies first and make sure they are committed to finding you a good fit and that the types of jobs they have available fit with what you want to be doing. If you take this route, someone else will do the work for you and the best part is, if you hate the job or the place of work, you don't have to stay. 

* You could do an internet search. Search for jobs that you think might have the qualities you are looking for. Do the research, read the job descriptions in detail and ask the hiring manager or someone else doing that same job if they'd be willing to talk do you about what the job entails. Get as much information as you can before you even apply. 

* Hire a Career Counselor or a Recruiter. This option costs money, but if you've been having trouble finding a job that fits your needs, it might be find to hire a professional. 

Step Three: Pick 5 jobs to apply for, write or have a resume created for all five jobs separately.

Once you have done your research and found a few jobs to apply for, it is time to get your resumes and cover letters ready. You will want to create a resume that caters to each job separately as well as a new cover letter for each. Even if you are applying for similar jobs, companies are often looking for different things in a new employee so catering the resume and cover letter to show that you can take care of that specific company's needs will go a long way.

Step Four: Send out your resume to the hiring manager or human resources department.

Pinpoint who the contact person is for the job. Often times you are just sending your resume to Human Resources, but other times they will list an actual hiring manager. Figure out who to contact and follow their instructions. 

Step Five: Follow up and Repeat. 

Haven't heard anything for a few days, contact human resources and ask about the status of your application. This can often get your foot in the door. If you don't hear a thing from any of the resumes that you sent out. Start over again and keep doing this until you find a job that is better suited for you. Just don't give up. You can also send out emails or messages over social media to reach out to friends and family who may have some connections for you. Maybe a friend of yours has worked with a great career counselor and is now happily placed with a job they love or maybe a family member can be a reference for you for their company. You never know what kinds of connections you can make through social media.